Thursday, May 31, 2012

Cheap and easy. No, not me. Indian food.

I'm a slacker when it comes to menu planning. I never know what I'm going to make until someone breaks into the "I'm hungry" tears. Usually it's me. Bitch gets craaaanky. So here is my go to recipe for Chana Masala. I always end up making it the day before payday when it's pantry shopping time, or when I've got to have shit done in under 30. Serve over hot brown rice and chutney or India pickle if you've got it.

Chana Masala

2 tbs coconut oil or olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1 lrg clove garlic, minced
1 tbs curry powder
1 tbs tomato paste or ketchup
15 oz can chickpeas or about 1.5 cups homemade (3 Tbs of liquid reserved. You can leave this out, but add 3 tbs water later)
1/2 tbs lemon juice
1/2 tsp salt or 1 tsp Braggs
Black pepper
Optional crushed red pepper.

Melt coconut oil in a pan and cook onions until translucent. Add garlic and cook for one minute more. Add everything but the chickpeas. Mix together, cook for a minute or so and then add the chickpeas. Stir to coat, have a bite and season to taste.
For maximum enjoyment, eat while listening to someone play the sitar.

I like it fried!

Mandy came into town tonight to share some laughs and some dinner. I promised to make her my famous fried tofu. She got the warning that the last person I served it to went b.a.n.a.n.a.s. To the point of begging/bartering for the recipe and then desperate pleas for more. It was awesome. This tofu is the base of many recipes. It's incredible on salads, in stir fries, dipped in anything, wrapped in anything and sandwiched in anything. The best part is it's easy to make. Woot.

Happy Tears Tofu

1 squeezed/pressed block of organic tofu, cut into about 8/10 squares
Braggs liquid aminos/tamari/soy sauce
1/4 cup Nutritional yeast (Nooch)
1/4 cup Chickpea flour
1 tbs broth powder (You should make your own for supa cheap with this recipe. It makes this dish! )
Coconut oil for frying.

Heat oil in the most non stick pan you have-cast iron is the best. Combine Nooch, flour and broth powder is a shallow bowl.Dip slices of tofu into the Braggs, and then coat in the flour mixture. Fry until golden on both sides. You can drain them or just let them sit on a plate like I do and soak up all that sweet fatness. Set aside until ready to use.

For tonight's dinner, I made this tofu into an orange ginger stirfry, because of some rice hanging out with an "eat me" sign on in my fridge.

Orange Ginger Stir Fry

Juice of one orange
2 tbs-1 tbs ginger
1 tbs Braggs (there is usually some left over if you just made tofu, so use it up!)
2 tsp sesame oil
1 tbs rice wine vinegar
Sriracha hot sauce either for the sauce, or for the side if you're dining with wee ones
1 tbs cornstarch/tapioca flour mixed with 1/4 water

Combine in a bowl until ready to use. Cut and prep 3 cups of assorted veggies. I had mushrooms, onions red and orange peppers and carrots. Broccoli or kale would be amazing additions. Melt one tbs of coconut oil into your pan and cook onions until lightly brown. Add veggies (of course adding the ones that take longest to cook first). Cook until about 2 minutes from tender crisp and add your sauce. Give it a couple minutes to thicken, and then spoon over hot rice. Slice tofu into strips and place on top. You can garnish with toasted almonds and hot sauce. Serve with and to friends that make you smile.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

How to eat chocolate fondue for breakfast

Don't mind if I fon-due!
My friend Tammy is a raw food genius. Last time we had a vegan potluck, she made us raw chocolate fondue that may be the best thing I've ever eaten. Plus it's so simple to make you'll cackle like a mad scientist! So take two ripe avocados, 1/4-1/2 cup cocoa or carob and 1/2-1 cup of maple syrup (add more cocoa/syrup to taste) and blend until smooth. Ta da! Now this can be used for lots of things. Pudding, check. Fruit fondue, check. Frozen into fudgesicles, check! I fed them to my kids because they are picky jerks that won't eat avocados.
Sucker!
Then I fed them to my neighbor's kid because he came over with cut up hotdogs in a plastic bag.
Nutrition NINJA!

Have muscles, will travel.

So this week in the world of "what the hell does a vegan eat", we add another challenge! What does a vegan eat on an athletic adventure in another city? This weekend was training to become an instructor for a barbell weightlifting class(Bodypump) in Burlington, On. Training requires you to do 5 classes and then another super challenge-lift 50-150% of the weight you normally do! No big deal right? So on top of just doing it, I had to find a way to keep my body fueled for two days of intense physical activity. This road trip required epic planning! Here is what my food pile looked like before I walked out the door.
Bananas, orange, apple, avocado, 7 lbs of almonds, walnuts with chocolate chips, 5 pb and j sanwiches and
vegan power muffins.
So for your eating pleasure, I'm posting the recipe for Sweet Potato Date muffins which I make for nearly every road trip I've ever been on. They contain only good things and offer outstanding sustained energy, whole food nutrition and packability. They have gone with me to Toronto, Las Vegas, New York and anywhere else my little wandering feet take me. I even contacted the author, Jae Steele, to get permission to use the recipe. Talking to her on messanger made me feel like a VIP! Make these and all will be right in your world (and intestines too). Its from "Ripe from around here" which you should go get right now! Now! One of my favorite cookbooks eva!
Sweet Potato Date Muffins
2.5 cups peeled and cubed sw. potatoes, steemed to perfection
2 cups Spelt flour
1 cup rolled oats
1 cup oat bran
1 Tbs baking powder
1tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp sea salt
1 cup chopped dates
1 cup applesauce(or 2 apples blitzed in the vitamix if you forget to buy applesauce like I always do)
3/4 cup maple syrup
2/3 cup sunflower oil or coconut oil (I've only ever tried this with coconut oil)
Set your oven to 410 and get busy! Whisk together flour, bran, oats, baking soda and powder, cinnamon and salt. Add the dates and stir to coat. Pour in applesauce, maple syrup and oil (if using coconut oil, melt it first). Mix until just combines and stir in the sweet potatoes. Bake around 28 minutes.

So we hit the road, and started playing "what can I convince a near stranger to do just to get on my blog". The answer was, yoga poses in public! Rebecca chose to show off her mad yoga skillz in the middle of a cobblestone alley in front of our restaurant. Woot! Spirit of adventure=check!
She makes it look easy, but I dare you to try to do it right now!
As soon as we hit town we hauled ass to Kindfood, a gluten free vegan restaurant that's won best cupcake four years in a row. It was closed :( After I shed some tears and licked the door, our search continued for something delicious. Persion eatery won this round!

A beautiful night meant outdoor eating! I usually hate beer, but it said "local, microbrewery and organic" which I tend to be a sucker for.
Company was good, beer was bad. I maintain it only tastes good if it's free.
Dinner didn't meet my standards for beauty, but the service was awesome and it tasted wonderful!

The next day brought hard core training and a quick lunch break that meant speeding across town to get in some vegan eats. Kindfood, finally you're mine! R and I both got the intensely awesome "Gene Baur" green smoothie and $20 worth of cupcakes LOL! Fitness inspiration right there folks.
Kindfood was filled with all of the things that make for a Christina happy place. Vegans, cupcakes, vitamixes, and signs that say things to make me smile.
Check.
This is what $20 worth of cupcakes looks like.
From top left, mint chocolate, dulce de leche, pina colada and cookies and creme.
After our day ended, down time meant wandering around industrial Burlington. It was highway-arific. Hidden among industrial supply buildings and freeways, I found a field of wildflowers. Happiness! So, I "bought" myself some flowers. First because I just finished something really challenging and second because I'm worth it damn it.
Worth it!
Then it was time for  my sub par food court dinner. Just so you know, cute takeaway boxes does not equal culinary magic. Though to be fair, my mom is a Thai food rockstar so my standards are pretty high.

Dinner sucked but dessert was awesome! Four cupcakes. That's right, four.
Here's Rebecca, enjoying her Kindfood brownie after our intense day 2. She'll most likely hate me forever for posting this photo, but I feel it captures the essence of brownie bliss perfectly. She's a doctor, so you can pretty much take that as medical advice to eat brownies as recovery food ha!

That's about it. It was a pretty awesome trip, filled with my favorite things-sweating, new friends, yummy vegan food, cupcakes AND muffins, and accomplishment! Huzzah!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Things Hippies like: Protesting shit

Sometimes I can write funny, sometimes I can write foodie, sometimes I can write without swears and *sometimes* I can write serious. Today is that last one. Whomp whomp. Hippies like to protest a lot of things and today these hippies were getting serious about the circus.
Protesting barefoot no less. Stone cold hippie.
Circuses that use animals suck y'all. The bottom line is that wild animals don't want to do tricks and are forced to do so in heinous ways. If you'd like to know more, you can check it out here. Or google it so you can look at all the sad pictures of baby elephants. Please do me a solid and never go to one that uses animals ok? So when things are going down that shouldn't be, it's time to pick up a sign and get your ass picoting.
Getting my ass picoted.
Somebody should do something and you can be somebody! So we drove out of town and held up signs like it was our job. And then we got distracted.
Lets reenact famous album covers. But with signs!

And then there was this huge cow on the top of an adjacent building. We though a little bit of vegan pranking was in order immediately. It turns out break and enter is illegal, so we settled for more ridiculous photo taking opportunities.

I hope this post has made you realize what a serious issue this is, and question why you don't go to more protests :) So go ahead-get mad about something and then go do something about it!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Foodie adventures in Brockville take 2

Getting out of town! Stay cool Kingston.
There's nothing like the thrill of the open road to get your blood pumping, hey? What kind of adventure awaits this time? Some people travel to all kinds of exciting destinations on their long weekends, but not me-I go to Brockville (or Brockvegas as it's sometimes called ha!) Anyone who's been to Brockville is aware that this ain't no vegan utopia. It's rural Ontario at it's finest/most stereotypical. Mandy and Rob's house is, however like my very own vegan food laboratory. They are always ready to cook with a freakishly well stocked fridge. Any fruit or vegetable you could want and they've got it! I've been told this is solely for my cooking purposes-they sure know how to make a girl feel loved. They even get treats just for me like dark chocolate almond milk and alcohol (lots). For the long weekend we had lofty plans for fun, frolic and food. Let's start with food! I need three things to cook a great meal: A cute apron, good music and a drink in my hand. Check check and see below. Double check. Who says vegans say goodbye to delicious boozy fun? We had exactly that with strawberries and creme daiquiris out of crystal glasses. It made me feel both classy and sloppy at the same time, which doesn't tend to happen very often.
Cheers!
To make your own "As healthy as alcohol gets Daiquiris", combine 3/4 cup of cashews covered with water and blended  with 3 1/2 shots of Rum in a blender. Then add strawberries, raspberries, pineapple (or whatever fruit you like), 10 dates, 2 tbs agave syrup, 2 Tbs Salba and lots of ice. Blend and try to drink slowly enough that you actually taste it-so AWESOME.
Since I've been told that my fajitas are the bomb, that's what we choose for dinner. Pictured here is our tasty supper, which I was *thisclose* to messing up with overzealous seasoning. Note to self: drinks after dinner. On the plus side, the more you drink the better things taste!

So our fajitas consisted of spinach tortillas, daiya cheese, mesquite portobellos in white wine, Mexican spiced veggies, salsa, avocado, cashew sour creme and of course hot sauce. You know it's good when you're practically wearing dinner as a mask and don't care. Mmmm. Speaking of masks, here I am indulging in my fifth favorite hobby, mustaches. 
My son says this picture "isn't funny, it's too weird". Whatever,
like it's the first time I've heard that one.
For dessert, summer means raw! Hoo-ey do I love me some raw sweets! Since their fruit selection was way more bountiful than mine ever is, I went crazy with our raw pie filling and had banana, pineapple, strawberry, raspberry, mango and peach. Yes! The top was made with dates, cashews, a pinch of salt and some agave in a food processor. I'm not going to write out a recipe both because I'm too lazy and because you essentially just mix those things until it tastes nice and has the consistency you desire. Tada!
The leftovers didn't make it until daylight. Just so you know, it tastes amazing with vegan vanilla ice cream.
Not like I'd know from having six servings or anything.
Rob and Mandy even have a fire pit! For roasting stuff and warmth! I love the country!

Fire pit excitement! Veggie dogs abound.
After a couple hours of staring at the fire, we started thinking up ways to get into trouble. We were going to go toilet papering, but realized it wouldn't be an environmentally friendly prank and therefore would bring shame to my blog. We settled for letting our designated driver take us into town to see what kind of fun we could find. Turns out the answer is "not much". We spent a good amount of time trying get a picture under this airplane so it looked like an overhead attack.
Overhead attack simulation=Fail.
Then we found some cool graffiti in the park-this is what rebellion looks like in Brockville. Someone said this picture makes us look like hookers. I disagree.
Losers maybe.
So after an embarrassingly early bed time, we woke up ready for round two! This time it was breakfast nachos! This may be pretty much the best idea ever. We mixed our fajita leftovers with ground round, coconut oil and salsa. We then piled it on top of nacho chips, topped with daiya cheese and broiled to melty deliciousness. To serve-more avocado and pickled jalapenos. We paired it with Mexican spiced potatoes with onions and strawberries with sweet cashew creme. Perfect!
I get to eat this! Squeeeee!
I left Brockville yet again with a happy heart and wishing I was wearing stretchy pants.
In conclusion, life is what you make it! Go near or go far but just go.....

Friday, May 18, 2012

I'm feeling yeasty

And by that I mean nutritional yeast, and not in my junk. I share a lot, but you have my solemn vow that I won't talk about yeast infections and food in the same post. Oh wait, I just did. Sorry.
I big puffy heart nutritional yeast. Not even exagerating, I've eaten Earth Balance with nutritional yeast on toast every day at breakfast for two years. If I don't end up having it for breakfast, it's most certainly on the menu for lunch, snack, second lunch, with dinner or around 10 pm for second dinner. Otherwise I get really cranky, I'm not good with routine changes. I tend to be pretty picky about brands though, it's Bob's Red Mill brand or nothing. If you get the right stuff, you'll be rewarded with a tangy, savory cheese like flavour. Vegans eat it more than the general public because it's a source of B12, the only nutrient we can't get from plant sources. Since I'm sure it sounds like weird hippie food, I'm going to tell you what to do with it so that you can experience this flavour explosion for yourself. You can eat it in all sorts of ways and I've compliled a small collection of recipes for you to play with. Ch-ch-check em out y'all!



My bad ass tofu scramble


Or, you could skip the middle man and enjoy "Nutritional Yeast a la Lola".
Yup, licking it off the floor like a dog. Mother of the year.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

My spectacular healthy life fail

So confession time. I'm currently both a hypocrite and quiter.:( I started smoking. Ugggg. Since I've been 16 smoking has been a hobby, a friend, an outlet and a smoking hot lover. I've been able to stay away from my bad news ex for a full 7 years now, but recently life has been pretty heavy and my resolved slipped. I decided to give them one last chance to redeem themselves. Every single time I've fallen off the wagon, it's gone exactly like this:

Week 1: Drinks with friends. Friends are smoking. That looks great, I just want one puff. Yeah, that's gross.
Week 3: Drinks with friends. Friends are smoking. That looks great, I'll just have a puff off of every one they smoke. Yeah, that's gross but kind of awesome.
Week 4: Sober with friends. Freinds are smoking. That looks great, I'll just have my own so they don't have to share. This is awesome, I can *totally* handle being a casual smoker.
Week 4 day 2: Still sober, still with friends. I'll just have this one now, another in an hour and then one for the road. I am SO good at not smoking full time.
Week 4 day 3: I wasn't with smoking friends before, but now that I got in my car and drove across town I am. I've brought either money or barter type items to ease my guilt of taking 5 for the road.
Week 5 day 1: F*ck it, I'm buying a pack.
Suited up for yoga. Healthy living fail. This is my shame face. Or something.
Since it's been so long since I've been a smoker and I've been mooching off friends up until this point, when I finally gave in and bought a pack I didn't even know what to ask for. "What kind do you want?""A good one." And then sticker shock $12.83?!?! Cool, it looks like I'm not eating this week. So here I am, bearing my shame for your pleasure. The real reason actually is because I want you to know that the road to health is up and down, often filled with challenges and your own demons. Plus no one is perfect, so be gentle on yourself. So-here is my imperfection for all to see. I'm going to quit *really* soon (monday I promise), smoking does about as much for veganism as donuts do for a diet. "You should eat vegan for your health" while hauling on a cigarette doesn't exactly make me a winning advocate. Now that you know my smokey little secret, what is the challenge that stands in your way of the health you deserve?

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Things hippies like: Swap meets

Have I ever told you how much I love to get a great deal? Do you know what's even better than a great deal? Paying NOTHING! Wooooooot! Swap meets are pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me.
For freeeeeeee!
It might surprise you to know that almost everything in my wardrobe currently has been acquired for free. Or not surprise you at all. I tend to be at least moderately stylish so it should. So why would one want to paw through another's cast offs? Well firstly, it's like a treasure hunt and I always get so much great stuff for nothing. Plus I get to unload things I'm no longer using. How it works is that people show up to the swap meet with things they are no longer using to trade for other things.
There isn't really a system at the ones I've been to, just first come first serve. I have literally never seen a fight-we hippies are a peaceful people.
Happiness in plaid.
Did you know cotton and coffee are the crops most heavily sprayed with pesticides? Second hand "shopping" allows you to tread more lightly on the planet. Using less stuff, reusing more stuff and getting crap for free-life doesn't get better than that. Think about organizing a swap meet for yourself, in particular if you've got children who are always growing and outgrowing-it's like the motherload.
Ready for a hot date. "Can you believe I found this in a dumpster?"

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Trying to gain some weight? Start here. BROWNIES!

Ahhh, I've spent two days with these on my mind. I've eaten them on my porch. I've eaten them hovering silently in the kitchen hoping my kids won't notice. I've eaten them at 6 am and I've eaten them at 12 pm. I.love.these.brownies.They are delicious in a way you'll only get when you make them yourself. A good vegan brownie is pretty elusive-I don't want to let you down but this isn't the fudgey kind of brownie. It is however moist, cakey and soooo yummy. Plus the recipe makes a huge double batch-you can spend the next couple days in a torturous yet delicious cakey coma like I have. You're welcome. Come on, come over to the dark side (as in dark coloured baked goods). This recipe was photocopied from a book, which was compiled from Internet gems-so thanks "Beth". You're brownies rock my world and make me chunky but happy.
What's with the flower you ask? First, it's pretty. Second, my icing looks like poo.

Vegan Brownies from heaven

2 1/4 flour
3/4 cups cocoa
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tbsp baking soda
1 cup canola oil
1 1/2-3/4 cup sugar
1 cup cold coffee
1 1/4 cups soymilk
3/4 cup walnuts or pecans, lightly toaster
3/4 cup vegan chocolate chips (I like president's choice semi sweet)

Preheat your oven to 375. In a large bowl, stir together flour, sifted cocoa, baking powder, soda. In a separate bowl, whisk together the oil and sugar, then coffee and soymilk. Add wet to dry, mixing until just combined. Fold in nuts and chocolate. Pour into a greased 9 X 13 baking pan. Bake for 20 minutes or more, until a toothpick/knife inserted comes out clean. Now if you possibly can, wait until it cools to frost or eat it right out of the pan as is.

Christina's 'delicious but gross looking' chocolate peanut butter icing

3 tbs melted coconut oil
2 cups icing sugar
2 tbs-1/4 cup cocoa (I'm going to be honest, I don't remember how much I used-add it until you find it sufficiently chocolatey)
2 tbs-1/4 cup peanut butter (again, I need to learn to measure)
Some boiling water for mixing

Pretty much just mix everything together, adding water as needed until it looks like frosting. Or fecal matter as mine did. When it taste this good it doesn't really matter what it looks like.

Food Not Bombs=Flavour Explosion

This blog is going to be a little bit risque because FNB is a *little* bit illegal. Mmm....illicit activity!It's mostly because we generally cook in non professional kitchens and give out food in crazy places like parks. For free. I know, ballsy.
We break bread together! Please note, knee was for photo op only. We tend to use knives for this kind of thing generally.
Food not Bombs started 30 years ago as a means to protest environmental degradation, homelessness, hunger, waste and to incite social change. Different groups around the world run things in different ways but are often the first responders during disasters and such. The other thing that's awesome about FNB is the food is vegetarian/vegan!
Look at me ma, I cooked somethin!
 I first sought out this group because Isa told me I should in "Vegan with a vengeance". Since I have little ability to think for myself and I wanted to improve my cooking skills like she said it would, I found a group running in  my area. Plus people doing anything to say "f*ck the man" makes me feel excited to the max!!!!!<-Five exclamation points clearly shows you *MAX*. How the Kingston chapter runs is that we collect food that would otherwise go to waste then collectively prepare and eat together.
This food would have been garbage!
 People take turns being the leader and running a team of fearless volunteers (though sometimes team means you + me). It's awesome! Lots of people join us to share in the free food and spectacular company :D If you'd like to help cook or just come eat, leave a comment with your email and I'll get back to you on where all the top secret excitement happens!
When making food and not bombs, there are sometimes still casualties of war. Farewell garlic bread, you would have been delicious.

Monday, May 14, 2012

WTF do I BBQ?

Today was so beautiful. Perfect enough weather to make you wish you lived outside. This is the time that it feels painful to tear yourself away long enough to make a meal. The neighborhood fills up with the delicious smells of.....bbqd animals. Sad face. The smell takes you right to family and holidays and warm summer days and happiness *siiiiigh*. So what is a hungry girl to do on days like this? Throw something bad ass on the grill!
I'm going to be honest with you. I don't think this picture says bad ass as much as I'd hoped.
Not having any buns turned dinner into salady bliss instead. I hate to admit how much I love salads- it's such a vegan cliche. Plus restaurants can't seem to get the hint that we like to eat more than that. When I make a salad, I make a SALAD. Thumbs way down for iceberg and cucumber with italian dressing. To qualify as a salad to me, it  must be able to be described as one or more of the following: huge, beefy (as in fill my tummy to explosion), loved up, bursting, just picked or raw . I also like to use my Vitamix. A lot. So this meal combined a whole lot of my favorite things. I'm going to do you a solid in two ways. First, I'm going to give you my recipe. Second, I'm going to teach you how to cut an avocado so that people from Texas won't laugh at you.

Christina's BBQ Portobello salad

Infused with happiness and belly rubs


4 Portobello Caps, washed and trimmed. Pat dry and rub with olive oil and steak/mesquite bbq rub.
1 zucchini, cut in strips lengthwise. Put on a plate and add about 1 tbs olive oil, 1tbs balsamic and salt.
1 carrot julienned, or sliced thin
1 avocado, halved. 1/4 reserved for salad dressing.

Grill portobellos until they are slightly charred on the edges, and soft/cooked throughout. The zucchini don't take as long, and are a good place to practice making fancy grill marks! Set aside until you're ready with the rest of your ingredients.

      Living in Texas became the first time I regularly cooked with friends. The first time I prepared an avocado, they laughed hysterically at their little Canadian. While I still maintain that they're jerks, it's more effective so I'll pass it on-they don't mess around with avocados!
First, you have to pick a good avocado. They usually ripen up really nicely in a sunny window after only a day or two. If you want to eat it tonight, look for one that is quite soft, but not squishy and usually brownish in colour. Once you've got an avocado in your possession, you'll cut it in half lengthwise. From there, open it up and take out the seed in the middle.

Don't make me cut you!
Use a pairing knife and make slices from top to bottom, taking extra care to not stab through the skin and revoke the vegan status of this meal.Then crosshatch so it's in a nice dicey pattern.


 From here just scoop out your avocado out with a spoon. Now it's time to dress this thing!

Dijon Maple Dressing

1/4 an avocado
1 tbs dijon mustard
1 tbs maple syrup
1 tbs braggs/tamari/soy sauce
1 clove garlic
1 tsp balsamic/red wine/apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup water

Blend to perfection! Layer greens, raw veggies, grilled veggies and dressing. Best enjoyed while sitting on a chair in the sunshine.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

This is what a hot mess looks like....

I'm pretty sure I just made my first submission to Cakewrecks. I had lofty dreams of triumphantly presenting a cake worthy of applause. Turns out it only looks easy on pintrest. As it so happens, it's also impossible to do practically anything when you're solo parenting two children. Not only is my first attempt at a birthday cake insanely ugly, but *everyone* in my house cried at some point during it's creation.
This can only end well.
No, you can't have a giant spoonful of red icing an hour before bedtime. No, you can't eat coconut oil right out of the container. No, you can't stand beside me jumping up and down and smashing my arms while I try to pipe on letters. FAIL! Ugg, even thinking about making this cake enough to write about it pisses me off. It's baseball theme made me want to find a teeny tiny baseball bat to beat my head in with.
I think it looks like a uterus, in the grass. Being overtaken by aliens.

It ended up tasting nice, so if you'd like to know to make vegan cake you can check out the recipe here.
Save us the embarrassment of being on this fugly cake!
 Happy Birthday *grumble grumble*.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Big Fat Burrito Bowl

Surprisingly, living in Texas as a vegan was pretty fab most of the time. Lots of natural food stores, exclusively vegetarian restaurants and if you played your cards right-amazing Mexican food! I miss a lot of the conveniences at my fingertips; in particular dining on the fly at Chipotle. Chipotle is a great place to eat as a vegan with lots of super tasty options. I was feeling a bit nostalgic, so recreated a burrito bowl (minus just a bit of the "I didn't have to make this myself" awesomeness) for lunch. The hardest part is making the burrito filling bit, but don't let all the steps scare you off, this shit is easy. You might have to work on your multitasking skills or bribe someone into helping you with prep work.

Big Fat Burrito Bowl

Cook two cups brown rice according to package instructions.
Wash and rip enough greens for however many bowls you're making.

Burrito Filling-
2 tbs coconut oil
1.5 cups sliced mushrooms, portobellos are best but other types work just fine.
1/2 a bell pepper, sliced
1 onion, cut in half and sliced
2 cloves of garlic
1/4 cup white wine if you have it. Water if you don't
1 tbs of tamari/braggs/soy sauce
Juice of one lime
1-2 tsp of some sort of mesquite seasoning. If you don't have that, cumin, chili or Cayenne taste nice in here

I feel like I can just copy and paste this part from every other recipe I ever post. Melt coconut oil, add onions and cook until translucent and a little brown. Add garlic and peppers and cook for approx. 5 more minutes. Add your mushrooms, cook until marginally soft. Add your wine and other ingredients. Cook down until liquid is reduced and ingredients are soft. Taste for awesomeness.

Chipotle Cashew Sour Creme-
1 big fat chipotle pepper in adobo sauce
1/4 cup cashews
1/4 cup water
juice of 1/2 lime
Blend all ingredients into sweet oblivion in your vitamix. If you're not so lucky, soak your cashews for a few hours before hand and cross your fingers that your blender gives you satisfactory results :D
Ingredients that are nice to add but not mandatory:
Roasted corn
Salsa of all types
Diced Avocado
Black beans

So now to make burrito bowl magic. Layers go as follows. Greens. Rice. Burrito filling. Toppings of your choice. Finish with cashew creme.Yum! Now you get to spend the rest of the day complaining about how full you are and rubbing your food baby belly.