Trade secret: Tofu Scramble

I sort of don't want to post this. My tofu scramble is literally the best thing I make, and by default can now be the best thing you make. I like to feel special :) Plus giving it up to other people means they can mess with it, and that kind of stuff pisses me off *ahem, you know who you are*. Don't mess with perfection people. Tofu scramble is my go to food for something fast, cheap and versatile-it even helps use up all that produce dying in the back of your fridge. Plus it's healthy and filling. I used to use eggs for the same reason, but comparatively I dare you to like eggs better. It's so good! Served with a liberal sprinkling of hot sauce such as Sriracha (this part is not optional! Spicy or nothing!), you can have this for breakfast, second breakfast, dinner, second dinner or midnight snack. Any time of day is the right time for tofu scramble! You can eat it with hot whole grain toast, or serve it on a tortilla with tomatoes and avocados. I like it best with pancakes, or gingerbread waffles. So, without further ado here is :

Christina's Tofu Scramble
1 block tofu, pressed if you feel like it
1 small onion, diced
1 clove garlic if you have it, minced
3 tablespoons coconnt oil
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp turmeric
1/2-1 tsp salt
3 tbs-1/4 cup nutritional yeast (optional, but if you don't try it you'll miss out on the 'perfect ten' nature of this dish)
2-4 cups random veggies (try to include at least one leafy green). Tomatoes, zucchini, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, kale, mushrooms, spinich, peppers are all great. Chopped.
1/2 avocado per person

Heat a skillet (preferably cast iron) over medium heat. Melt in one tbs of coconut oil. To this add your garlic and onion, cooking until translucent. At this point, chuck in whatever veggies you're using, starting with the items that will take longest to cook. Cook your veggies until just about cooked. Set aside in a separate bowl-you'll need the skillet for the next step. Heat the remaining coconut oil, adding the cumin and turmeric. Let sizzle for a minute or two before crumbling in your block of tofu. You can use a spatula or fork to break up the tofu into the oil. You'll know you've broken it up enough when it vaguely resembles scrambled egg consistency, and the spices are well distributed. Add the vegetables you have waiting. Salt, and mix. When everything is well distributed, taste and adjust seasonings. Plate, add your hot sauce, diced avocado and enjoy!

Also, if you serve this to people without telling them it's mine I'll have to cut you. For real.

Get in my belly: Vegan Fish and Chips

Hey guys! I'm back after a monumentally long absence. Mini took all of the keys off the keyboard, so blogging was out. You can now expect more timely updates thanks to the finest/cheapest laptop money can buy. I'm going to solicit your forgiveness with this amazing top secret recipe. It comes from my vegan homeslice Maggie, and the first time I ate it-I cried tears of fatty happiness. Perfect fried tofu! The batter was fish and chips all the way, so that's how I'm presenting it to you.

Maggie's Fried Tofu

aka Battered Fish

1 Block Tofu, sliced 1/2 inch thick

1/3 cup Flour

1/2 cup Non-dairy Milk

4 Tbs Cornmeal

4 Tbs Nutritional Yeast

1/2 Tsp Salt

1/4 Tsp Pepper

1 cup Grape seed oil

Place oil in the heaviest frying pan you own. Let it get nice and hot. If a drop of water is dropped into the oil, it should pop. Arrange three bowls, one containing flour, the next milk and the last your cornmeal, nutritional yeast, salt and pepper combined. Here's where you can freestyle-do you like garlic, onion, or sage? Add some of your favorite seasonings to the last bowl if you're feeling frisky. After that, dip each slice of tofu in the contents of the bowls, obviously one by one. Flour, milk, cornmeal. Got it? After this, fry a few minutes on each side until they are golden brown. Drain on a paper towel or newspaper if you like to kick it old school. From here, you can make yourself some baked fries for fish and chips, or put it on a roll like a chicken burger. A simple tartar sauce for dipping: Mix veganaise(or any other egg free mayo), a splash of lemon, salt and pepper, a 1/2 tbs agave syrup and 1/4 relish.

Now you can't say I've never given you anything! You're welcome.

The Tofu Whisperer

Image courtesy of vegansoiree.com

So I signed up to take part in the vegan month of food AKA MoFo blog roll. Essentially you have to post every day. Instead of dwelling on my short comings here, I'm just going to do better :). Today I'm going to blog about Tofu, specifically my friend Sienna who I call "The tofu whisperer" behind her back. I randomly met Sienna at a downtown playgroup, and her epic awesomeness and lifelong vegetarian status makes her one of the coolest people I know. I have always liked tofu, and my children are weirdly obsessed with it. If they see me cooking it, I'm hounded until I give it up. I suppose the bland, whiteness appeals to kids-but adult usually have more discerning palates. Tofu is kind of like flour, not much until you do something with it. Sienna always has some tasty tofu snack at playgroup and has really revitalized my love for the stuff. Her fried tofu was an instant favorite( we looove fried anything!) and is super easy to do.

Sienna's Fried Tofu
1 block firm or extra firm organic tofu
Soy sauce, tamari or Braggs liquid aminos
Nutritional yeast for rolling (probably about half a cup)

Cut tofu first in threes horozontally. This will give you three rectangular shaped slabs-keep them stacked though. Next, cut end to end about 1/4-1/2 inches apart (so your slices look somewhat like french fries.) Have a bowl ready and put a few tablespoons of soy sauce for the tofu to rest in and soak up. Place nutritional yeast in a flat bottomed plate or pan for easy rolling. For each piece, drenge in soy sauce, then roll to coat in nooch (bad ass name for nutritional yeast :). In the meantime, about 1/4 cup cooking oil to med-high heat. Cook tofu in batches, turning to cook each side to golden brown. Be careful, as the water in tofu can make the oil splatter and hurt when turned. Remove from oil when golden on all sides and drain on a plate with cloth or paper towel. This is great cut up and used in fried rice, stir fries, on it's own or in pretty much anything. We like it best with sweet/hot mustard for dipping.

Dudes that do veggies and other perverse plays on words

Hey, did you hear that story about the girl that wanted to get a license plate reading "I heart TOFU" but was denied? When you read it on a license plate, it looked like"I heart TO-F-U". I think it's pretty freakin brilliant, but then that's probably why they don't let me approve license plates. That really has nothing to do with where I'm going with this particular blog entry, but I just love when tofu can be pervy, so get used to it. This blog is really the story of two veggies.
The first of which is my wonderful husband "Bean" (I know, clever right?) As I'm sure you guessed, Bean is not his real name. It seems that all the cool bloggers have fun monikers for their family, probably so that once your blog goes viral the stalkers won't know how to find you. Frankly, my friends are the ones most likely to participate in the obnoxious pranks that one would play on a vegan-so I'm not terribly afraid of stalker antics. Noelle, I'm looking in your direction. But I digress. Bean is what some would call "The reluctant Vegetarian". When I first announced my intentions three years ago, he was less than thrilled. And by less than thrilled I mean deadpan. Bean was a hunter, fisherman, Philly Cheese steak aficionado and person voted "most likely to write a love sonnet to cheese" in high school. Since I did most of the cooking, this change just meant that Bean would get his meaty kicks outside of our home. I was told "I will NEVER be a vegetarian" so I dropped it. He humored me though, attempting to read "Diet for a New America" and even watching "Earthlings" but still nothing changed. Fast forward two summers and Mr. Meatypants wants to do cage fighting-BADLY. He talks about it night and day, and day and night. My response is "over my dead body". He starts to get desperate and trying to make bargains to get my permission. Finally he brings out the big guns, he will go vegetarian. Ding ding ding, we have a winner! Now Bean will hate me for putting this out on the interwebs, but his one and only fight did not end in his favor. For some reason though, he didn't go back to eating meat. To this day I don't know why, as he maintains that he cares not for the environment, chemicals in our food or animal suffering. Maybe he saw how happy it made me, or that it avoided the awkward conversation with our yet-to-be-monikered 3 year old about why Daddy has cow on his plate. The real reason I think though, is that people told him he couldn't do it. Bean happens to be my soul mate in this regard-if someone says "you can't do it", his answer is "watch me." So big shout out to all those people that harassed Bean about it, you helped fund this epic vegetarian win.
On the other side of 'The Reluctant Vegetarian' is the Hegan. This article is actually pretty good, so ch-ch-check it out.

http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/food/articles/2010/03/24/men_leave_their_own_mark_on_veganism/?page=1

Bean is pretty far from a Hegan, but I still hold out hope that someday soon he'll want to take up Brazilian-ice-sword-slashing, Death wrestling or some sort of weird body mutilation. On that day my friends, it's Vegan time.