Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Dudes that do veggies and other perverse plays on words
Hey, did you hear that story about the girl that wanted to get a license plate reading "I heart TOFU" but was denied? When you read it on a license plate, it looked like"I heart TO-F-U". I think it's pretty freakin brilliant, but then that's probably why they don't let me approve license plates. That really has nothing to do with where I'm going with this particular blog entry, but I just love when tofu can be pervy, so get used to it. This blog is really the story of two veggies.
The first of which is my wonderful husband "Bean" (I know, clever right?) As I'm sure you guessed, Bean is not his real name. It seems that all the cool bloggers have fun monikers for their family, probably so that once your blog goes viral the stalkers won't know how to find you. Frankly, my friends are the ones most likely to participate in the obnoxious pranks that one would play on a vegan-so I'm not terribly afraid of stalker antics. Noelle, I'm looking in your direction. But I digress. Bean is what some would call "The reluctant Vegetarian". When I first announced my intentions three years ago, he was less than thrilled. And by less than thrilled I mean deadpan. Bean was a hunter, fisherman, Philly Cheese steak aficionado and person voted "most likely to write a love sonnet to cheese" in high school. Since I did most of the cooking, this change just meant that Bean would get his meaty kicks outside of our home. I was told "I will NEVER be a vegetarian" so I dropped it. He humored me though, attempting to read "Diet for a New America" and even watching "Earthlings" but still nothing changed. Fast forward two summers and Mr. Meatypants wants to do cage fighting-BADLY. He talks about it night and day, and day and night. My response is "over my dead body". He starts to get desperate and trying to make bargains to get my permission. Finally he brings out the big guns, he will go vegetarian. Ding ding ding, we have a winner! Now Bean will hate me for putting this out on the interwebs, but his one and only fight did not end in his favor. For some reason though, he didn't go back to eating meat. To this day I don't know why, as he maintains that he cares not for the environment, chemicals in our food or animal suffering. Maybe he saw how happy it made me, or that it avoided the awkward conversation with our yet-to-be-monikered 3 year old about why Daddy has cow on his plate. The real reason I think though, is that people told him he couldn't do it. Bean happens to be my soul mate in this regard-if someone says "you can't do it", his answer is "watch me." So big shout out to all those people that harassed Bean about it, you helped fund this epic vegetarian win.
On the other side of 'The Reluctant Vegetarian' is the Hegan. This article is actually pretty good, so ch-ch-check it out.
Bean is pretty far from a Hegan, but I still hold out hope that someday soon he'll want to take up Brazilian-ice-sword-slashing, Death wrestling or some sort of weird body mutilation. On that day my friends, it's Vegan time.