Saturday, August 18, 2012

Have vegan will travel: Farm Sanctuary Hoe Down '12

I swear this is the hardest blog of the year to put together. There are a lot of reasons, the sheer volume of photos and stories that were accumulated is the first. The other is that sometimes one has experiences in life that transcend words, and this is one of them. I'm struggling to articulate how much fun, food, friendship, learning, growing, shopping, laughter and animal cuddles were packed into two days of camping in upstate New York. This year was an even bigger adventure, because I was going by myself! My travel companions were three near strangers, all of whom I begged to go so I'd have a way to get there. Not having a vehicle was not a good enough reason to miss Hoe Down! We started our journey as all trips tend to-with an unexpected detour! Money? Check. Camping gear? Check. Passports? Err....So Adrian is probably going to hate me for retelling this story yet again, especially this time putting it in electronic narrative form. If you've read my blog before, you know that sparing other people embarrassment isn't my thing. Adrian forgot his passport. In Toronto. 2.5 hours from where we currently were. Back we went! Our arrival time was originally going to be around 4 pm, but ended up being closer to 12 am.
This is what a blood moon looks like from a moving car. Hold your applause until the end please.
While that part certainly wasn't the highlight, it meant unexpected detours and exciting new discoveries! First up, Armenian food in St. Catherine's. It was Vaughan-tastic.
If anyone could give me a definition of "Vaugh-Tastic". that would be enlightening.
You know what else was awesome? Meeting another vegan in there who directed us to a vegan bakery RIGHT DOWN THE STREET. Ah! I haven't had a donut since March 9th!
Not that I'm keeping track or anything. So after doing my happiness dance in a crowded restaurant and purchasing what was probably a month's worth of sugar intake-this is what I got to eat!
Then it was border crossing time. Just like every time I cross the border, I learned yet another lesson. Previous lessons include: Inappropriate jokes are not appreciated, always have American cash on you and what *not* to say if you don't want your car to be searched. Today, it was " K.I.S.S". When asked how we all know each other, I answered "I was the catalyst that introductory everyone". Hold up. "Catalyst?" And then I panicked. Was this one of the car searching words? Had I used it incorrectly and now had to bear my shame in a car full of strangers? Nope, he just didn't know what I was talking about. So he asked us about previous drug conviction/arrests, and says to me "what about you Catalyst". *facepalm*  After we were over the border, it was straight on till morning. This year I was way more prepared and got up my tent by myself, faster than anyone in my group (though I'm pretty sure they didn't realize they were part of a tent assembly competition). This is what happened last year: Hoe Down 2011. I didn't win outdoorswoman of the year for that one. I didn't to keep my title for very long this year either though, as this still happened on the last day.
Tent Fail 2.0
I had a really hard time settling to sleep that night knowing how much excitement was just around the corner. Saturday morning, I immediately met who would turn out to be my conjoined twin for the rest of Hoe Down. Danielle, who is  the coordinator at Our Hen House (Indie Media Powerhouse winner  for 2011, no big deal). The first thing I noticed were these:
And then this: Which is that she's the funniest person ever. The following is taken five minutes after we met, right after she did an impression of her cat falling into a toilet. It was brilliant.
Danielle was just one of the first of many incredible people I met at Hoe Down. She let her famous rub off on me, and then we rubbed up on some even more famous people. Such as Elizabeth Kusinich. No big deal. And by no big deal I mean huge freakin deal. Squeal!
Right around this time was lunch. This year's food was absolutely incredible. It was like they read my mind-When the question is food, my answer is always yes. I was never hungry, which is crazy because I always am.
Clockwise from the top: Buffalo tofu (Which was too spicy for some people. To those people, you have a year to work on being more awesome.), fresh bread, cranberry oatmeal cookie, black bean salad (which was incredible), quinoa and kale salad. After this, we heard the most incredible tales of rescue and survival from the staff of Farm Sanctuary (In particular from the amazing Susie Coston). This is always the most joyful and most heart wrenching time at Hoe Down. It's amazing to meet these animals that have survived things we can't even really imagine, but impossible to forget that millions upon millions each year still have to endure it. Now without further introduction....GOATS!
And then....
You know what's cute? Goats. And do you know what else is cute? Their little squishy neck things.
This adorable goat with a prosthetic leg is Juniper. She was rescued from neglect, but not before she lost her ears and leg. Sad story with a happy ending-she gets to live at Farm Sanctuary!
We had so much fun playing with the goats that we may or may not have done something close to a goat-human metamorphoses.
After goats, it's was time to "chicken our faces off".
Chickens get a bad wrap, but it turns out they are pretty cool. These little chickies were rescued from a free range egg farm, you'll notice their weird beaks-that was where the sensitive ends were painfully removed so they wouldn't peck each other in their cramped quarters. Anther sad story turned happy! And they tried to eat my shorts. Oh you chickens! Quit being adorable! Next up, pigs!! Squeal! Their ears feel like velvet *sigh*.
As if gallivanting with goats, pigs and chickens isn't enough for the perfect day, I got to meet Terry Hope Romero-who has written and co written my favorite cookbooks and is the reason I'm such hot stuff in the kitchen. I got to learn how to make Caramel Coconut Flan and then meet her! Ah. Best day ever!
If you're wondering why I look so sweaty it's because it was a million degrees. That and I'm a hot sweaty mess.
After Terry's cooking demo, it was time for more awesome presenters. Next up was John Pierre, who is a plant based nutrition expert and personal trainer to celebrities like Ellen Degeneres and Joaquin Phoenix. His knowledge on the topic blew my mind-this guy is amazing! It really resonated with me, despite the fact that this is what we ate during his talk.
In my defense, the store was right behind where I was sitting, aaaand I never get these kind of specialty vegan treats where I live. Don't judge me. After a hard afternoon of listening and junking out, it was cocktail hour baby! This was one of my highlights from last year because of free wine,
I like the hand in the picture. It says "I can't wait the two seconds needed for pictures. Give me free wine fool!"
Free food, free fiddle and (free) new and old friends! Also, numerous ridiculous photo taking opportunities.
Well done ladies. Nailed it!
   Despite the fact that we were still stuffed from vegan crabcakes with chipotle mayo that we may or may not have stalked waiters for, dinner was served!
Oh baby-it was incredible! It was followed in the way that all meals should be, with a perfect ten peanut butter chocolate brownie.
Get in my face!
Although very little can surpass brownies in awesomeness, something did. Faux mustaches! They were given by as a promotion by the company that provided dinner (Faux mustaches for faux meat-so clever!) You know what mustaches mean. First, hilarity will ensue. Second, I'm about to be the happiest girl in the world. I *LOVE* me some mustaches! It's like a wig, minus the itchy but plus some gender confusion. It messes with people's mind's and I like it.
Someone is gangsta and someone is a 70s cop. An unlikely pair.
 Things only went uphill from there (as events with open bars tend to). The people barn you see behind us turned first into a barn dance with a caller and fiddlers, and second into a nightclub! After so much fun that it should be illegal, it was campfire and Ukulele sing along! This time I'm not joking. Best.Day.Ever!
And then 7 am came. First with a rooster and then with a raging wine headache. At this point I remembered promising John Pierre and many others that I would be at 8 am bootcamp. Nice foresight Christina. If I could sum up the experience in one word, it would be this:
After a breakfast that I'm sure was delicious tasted like ash, it was time to let petting animals make everything better!
Hey baaaaa-by, come here often?
 Sheep are awesome for lots of reasons, but I like to think of them as the players of the farm yard.
Let me help you with that.
These guys crack me up! We saved the cows for last, because they moo and because they are the cutest!
"So that's when she said..."
What a spectacular adventure this year's Hoe Down has been. New friends (animal and human), new information to reflect on and share, new insights and a renewed sense of self. To sum it up very simply, it was life changing. If you have the chance and want to go somewhere that will a light fire in your soul, see you next year.  Look for the girl with a mustache going for seconds on dessert.

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